We've written a book / manual / handbook!

From senior year of high school ‘til they say “I do!”  "Once A Mom, Always A Mom, Parenting 17-30 year olds?!? What We Wish We'd Known!"

Empty nester? Not exactly.  

If you’ve seen the book, “What to expect when you’re expecting”, fast forward to senior year of high school, graduation, college, life after college…what can you expect as a parent of these kids?  If you think of the book, “Letting Go”, really?  Who do you think you’re kidding?  Not with our parenting styles. Not how we Baby Boomers have been parenting all of these years.  

Jean and I have written a book about this ongoing parenting. Once your kids have gone off to college, do you think the questions stop coming or your consultation is no longer requested? On the contrary. These Gen Y-ers have numerous things they want to run by you or ask for your advice on and where do YOU as the parent of this age group go for answers or questions or consultation? You don't see those same "sideline" parents anymore, so having a resource or a place to go or a reference to turn to...that could be invaluable!

This "book" is the: 

“wish I would have known thats!” 

“Would have been nice to have had a heads up about that!” 

“Why didn’t anybody tell me that was coming? Are you kidding me!?”

If you thought your days of parenting were over, you’re sorely mistaken.  Hang on, hold on, the ride's just picked up momentum.  

When you're a parent of a school aged kid (K-12) there are so many opportunities to gather information about your child: from their teachers, from their friends, from the parents of their friends: the stuff they're doing, the things they should be doing, the timing of applications, of interviewing for private schools, for college, looking for sports' camps or jobs over the summer...the network is incredible and incredibly valuable! You have other parents to share with. You're talking to them on the "sidelines" as you're watching your kids. There's very little like it. Where else is there such a great "laboratory" for this raising-a-child-thing? The ages are similar, often you're talking about the same gender, you're living in the same community, familiar with the resources, the demographics... it's great! 

We see more and more opportunities online with "Mommy bloggers" or online communities. All good, but not the same as the "sidelines" and us Baby Boomers aren’t as likely to do the blog-thing.  Oh sure, we Google stuff and then leap around from website to website, but our generation tends to turn to the good old fashioned book. Well, we are now in the 21st century, and our good old fashioned book is digital! It's an eBook. So if you haven't already, download the Kindle App from iTunes for free. You can download it on your PC or Mac, your iPad, iPhone, Android, Blackberry, Windows Phone 7... (we'll soon be available on Nook). Why did we choose to go digital? Because as a resource we've set the book up with hyperlinks throughout. You're busy, we get that. So if you read something that resonates and you want to take care of whatever it may be instantly, we've tried to connect you to resources that can help you.  We’ve been conditioned through the college application process to turn to reference books/guides and now that they’ve moved onto that next phase, there’s no parenting manual out there.  Nothing to alert you to potential issues or challenges. Until now!

What's wonderful about this website is that you can chime in and we hope you do! We would love to get your thoughts, your ideas, and your life's experiences. We certainly don't claim to be experts by any stretch of the imagination, we just know that we learn SO much from each other and we want to continue to share and learn as our kids grow older. 

As our title implies, there's a sequel or two or three in this series! Enjoy! We sure did as we were writing.

Once a Mom, always a Mom!

~Beppie 

Cell Phones, iPhones, Blackberrys and Life and the Network

We coexist with these devices every minute of our day. We and our children are writing the rules of use, manners and function for our devices. The patterns we each set at the breakfast table. in the car, during family time influences,  perhaps determines the patterns that are set for our kids.

So what choices are your family making? Have you talked with your kids about when and how they use their phones? At what age have you allowed a young child to first have a phone? There are no correct answers to these questions, but there are good reasons to think about the consequences of our choices.

The ways in which your son or daughter uses his phone will impact interactions with family, friends and co-workers. The family issues can be discussed and perhaps agreed upon as to what use limits everyone agrees to. How and when they use their phones when they are with their friends is beyond your control and perhaps your influence. However, there is the hope that you have taught them to listen to people they care about (in fact or should care about for business or social purposes)  when they are face to face with them.

That leaves work and here there is a teaching role for you. When your kid heads out to babysitting job, to a summer job, an internship or that first post college job, they will be carrying their phone/blackberry with them. They may be paying for the device themselves, or you may be subsidizing a family plan or their employer may be paying. The point is they will almost certainly have a communication device. Will they know how to use it without aggravating their employer and co-workers? The rules are common courtesy and common sense, but talking with your daughter or son before the job begins is a good idea. Then talk again one week in and one month in and see how things are going.

Finally, there is one last area of cell phone use at work that no one else may talk about, networking. When your daughter or son has that first real job and is sent to a regional meeting, conference or sales event the temptation may be strong to stand at the edge of a reception and text a friend or call Mom. Make sure they don't do this. These are important networking opportunities, and it's not always easy but it is always important to meet the other people. Make sure your kid is not the insecure young person at the meeting who avoids extending his hand and meeting a stranger.  Don't let them hide behind the device.  It wastes a terrific opportunity and, frankly, can be down right rude to the others there who are extending themselves for your son or daughter as well as others.  These opportunities too valuable to waste in talking with someone they already know but who isn't there. Put the phone away and say hello.

~Jean