Cell Phones, iPhones, Blackberrys and Life and the Network

We coexist with these devices every minute of our day. We and our children are writing the rules of use, manners and function for our devices. The patterns we each set at the breakfast table. in the car, during family time influences,  perhaps determines the patterns that are set for our kids.

So what choices are your family making? Have you talked with your kids about when and how they use their phones? At what age have you allowed a young child to first have a phone? There are no correct answers to these questions, but there are good reasons to think about the consequences of our choices.

The ways in which your son or daughter uses his phone will impact interactions with family, friends and co-workers. The family issues can be discussed and perhaps agreed upon as to what use limits everyone agrees to. How and when they use their phones when they are with their friends is beyond your control and perhaps your influence. However, there is the hope that you have taught them to listen to people they care about (in fact or should care about for business or social purposes)  when they are face to face with them.

That leaves work and here there is a teaching role for you. When your kid heads out to babysitting job, to a summer job, an internship or that first post college job, they will be carrying their phone/blackberry with them. They may be paying for the device themselves, or you may be subsidizing a family plan or their employer may be paying. The point is they will almost certainly have a communication device. Will they know how to use it without aggravating their employer and co-workers? The rules are common courtesy and common sense, but talking with your daughter or son before the job begins is a good idea. Then talk again one week in and one month in and see how things are going.

Finally, there is one last area of cell phone use at work that no one else may talk about, networking. When your daughter or son has that first real job and is sent to a regional meeting, conference or sales event the temptation may be strong to stand at the edge of a reception and text a friend or call Mom. Make sure they don't do this. These are important networking opportunities, and it's not always easy but it is always important to meet the other people. Make sure your kid is not the insecure young person at the meeting who avoids extending his hand and meeting a stranger.  Don't let them hide behind the device.  It wastes a terrific opportunity and, frankly, can be down right rude to the others there who are extending themselves for your son or daughter as well as others.  These opportunities too valuable to waste in talking with someone they already know but who isn't there. Put the phone away and say hello.

~Jean